Doctors Orders

In my version of this story is that i was driving a friend who was on the edge of a manic break down to an all night place to get food.  It was about 4 AM and he had been up all night for at least the night before.   Without warning, while i am driving, he punches me in the face.  Fortunately, there was no traffic, because your reflex when someone punches you while driving is to slam on the brakes.

A couple years later my dentist tells me that my front tooth is dead and asks me about shocks to my face.  I get a bridge installed, but the teeth that it is attached to are hurt as well.  Last Friday while eating a carrot at Acorn i hear a very disturbing sound and feel sharp pain in my bridge.  My dentist confirmed that i had broken the root of the tooth the bridge was attached to and that i would need to get a temporary bridge to replace the one i had and that i would not be able to fly out to San Francisco when i had originally planned to.

I asked my dentist if he could write a letter for me to the airlines.  He reluctantly said yes.  I offered to draft the letter for him, which he found an exciting prospect.  I write lots of letters like this, and was up for the challenge of this one.  He gave me his email, and when i inspected the signed letter this morning, i noted they had not changed a word from my draft.  Quite satisfying.  The airline changed my ticket with a most minimal fee.

This is not the first time i have wanted a doctors note, though previously i did not have as good an excuse (from the airlines perspective) to change my flight.  In 1990, i was working for an ocean engineering firm in Hawaii.  I was supposed to go back from San Francisco, but i got a wonderful offer from David Solnit to travel to 45 cities and do support for a native peoples tours to stop nuclear testing.  The only thing which was stopping me from joining was this airplane ticket back to Hawaii.

So i went to a recently graduated doc who i knew and asked for help.  She said “well i could write you a letter saying you had an ear infection and thus could not fly.”  Ear infection, i thought, anyone can have an ear infection, i was hoping for something more exotic.  My doctor friend was amused and was curious what i had in mind.  “Can’t we say i was shot?”

So the letter was crafted, the airline was informed and when i turned it in to the woman at the airline counter, she was suitably aghast.  Wanting to know that i was okay, i assured her that my recover had been complete.

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About paxus calta

a funologist, memeticist and revolutionary. Can be found on Wikipedia and in locations of imminent calamity. buckle up, there is going to be some rough sledding.

One response to “Doctors Orders”

  1. germanbini says :

    thank you for your (as usual) entertaining post :)

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