On my way up to do my family-of-origin Thxgvg visit, i get to stop in Philly and see Feonix, who has a new place filled with charming activists and artists. She and Chad are doing a workshop at the anarchist book shop in Philly called the Wooden Shoe. The Workshop is called PolYouth – which is an introduction to polyamory for young people of all ages.
Feonix and i started our relationship when after a workshop i did on Honest Seduction she said “That was boring”. i replied “you want to do a better one with me?” And she went for it and we started our wild affair.
On this visit she asked me if i was still doing workshops, and i had to confess it had been a while. Conversation turned to what was sexy as workshop content, and i got to stroll down memory lane.
At Ecotopia, long before we did workshops on Open Relationships, i gave one on jealousy. My most powerful memory is when we paired off highly jealous participants with those who did not identify as jealous and gave them this especially tricky role place.
“You have been involved with your partner for 10 years, and you never have really had agreements around monogamy, because you are not of one mind. The more jealous partner gets sick and goes to the hospital and nearly dies. Their best friend comes to help out and in the intensity of the care taking, the best friend and the less jealous partner fall in love. Now the more jealous partner has recovered and you get to tell them about the desire of their parter to have a romantic relationship with their best friend.”
i remember this jealous Polish young man going thru a long discussion with this free spirited German gal. At the end of half an hour they reported back to the group – over the course of the workshop he had gone thru a personal transformation, he would give his blessing to the relationship between his partner and his best friend and they would try a poly configuration. He knew it would be hard, and he loved her and understood why she might desire his best friend.
The second couple to report back in this role play had a different solution. The jealous partner having just recovered from ill health was unable to reconcile his feelings around his partners desire for his best friend and would simply kill himself.
I can’t wait to hear what Chad and Feonix come up with on these charged topics.