Lonely in a Crowd

This is Keegan’s post about despite there being 100 plus tightly integrated people at Twin Oaks, living, working and socializing together. It is still not enough for him (and perhaps me as well) and he wishes there were more regular social gatherings and points of connection.

Running in ZK

I have ridiculously high social needs, although I don’t think most people would guess it upon meeting me.  Being surrounded by people 24 hours a day was my primary reason for moving to Twin Oaks.  And while I can honestly say that my social wellbeing has improved by moving here, I’ve found that it can be a surprisingly isolating place.

For one, the population here ebbs and flows.  While we’re in many ways like a village, we totally lack the stability of one.  This spring and summer have been pretty brutal for me in this regard: two people left whom I felt super-comfortable around (particularly, being loud and ridiculous around).  And there wasn’t even much warning.  People up and decide to go pretty quickly.  Add to this the usual ways that social dynamics get mixed up (relationship changes, mood changes, work stress, etc), and it’s kind of a recipe for…

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About paxus

a funologist, memeticist and revolutionary. Can be found in the vanity bin of Wikipedia and in locations of imminent calamity. buckle up, there is going to be some rough sledding.

2 responses to “Lonely in a Crowd”

  1. PJ says :

    That is very interesting. It goes against what I envisioned of TO and other places like Acorn, etc. That is one of things that has always concerned me when thinking about visiting ICs. I’m a fairly quiet-minded guy and while I am not anti-social by any means, I do love my alone time and have always assumed that you don’t get that in such close communities.

    • moonraven222 says :

      Having spent lots of time in various communes and co-ops, and being an introverted person myself, I can tell you that it’s not that hard to get alone time if you want to–in fact, because people are so busy and often wanting their own alone time, it can be harder to get lots of connection, even in the biggest communes, as Keegan points out.

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