The Party You Cannot Come To
Twin Oaks throws a pretty amazing New Years Eve party. Part of what makes it great is that you can’t come. Let me explain.
There are lots of things which go into making a great party. One of the most important pieces is that participants feel comfortable and relaxed. The easiest way to mess this up is to invite a lot of people who are unknown to most of the people who are attending.
The community wrestled with this situation for the first years of my membership. We want to be welcoming as much as we can be. Being exclusive and restrictive rubs us the wrong way collectively. And we get that not everyone can participate in everything and we have an obligation to take care of our members first. So what evolved over the last decade or so is the norm that you can not invite someone to the New Years Eve party, unless they have spent time at the community before the event.
I actually think the reasoning behind this is quite strong. It prevents people (including people like me) from bringing some “super cool” person who has never been here before, to this event, increasing the chances that folks already have some experience with the guest from their earlier visit. This makes the members more comfortable and makes for a better party.
[Edited by Judy Youngquest]